4 Techniques On How To Stop Taking Things Personally
Boss give your coworker that raise instead of you?
Guy or Girl at the bar pick up your friend instead of you?
Friend come into town and not contact you?
Family making you feel like the black sheep?
The dynamics in our relationships can lead us to feel
-inadequate
-rejected
-let down
-disappointed
-and as if we are not good enough, interesting enough, fun enough, desirable enough, or “normal” enough.
These emotions often cause us to take things personally. We begin to think that every decision that other people make directly has to do with how we are not ______ (fill in the blank) enough.
And let’s face it- when we start to question our own self worth, it’s not a pretty feeling, and can lead us to recoil and avoid people, or have anger and resentment outbursts- all options leading to a breakdown in any relationship.
Instead we want to learn how to deal with these feelings.
In this video, you will learn the top 4 techniques and tools on how to stop taking things personally. By the end of it, you will see things differently, gain greater understanding, ask rather than assume, communicate clearly in order to grow and feel heard and seen, and most importantly build deeper more meaningful connections with the people in your life.
Watch to the end to get the most out of it! And leave comments below letting me know what you took away from it today!
Happy Watching!
Happy Watching!
TRANSCRIPT
The quality of our lives is directly related to the quality of our relationships. Most importantly, starting with the relationship you have with yourself.
Hi, my name is Giovanna Elias and on this channel I’m going to show you how the communication and connection you have with yourself and your inner world directly impact the relationships, the connection and the success you have in your outer world in every area of your life.
Hi everyone and welcome to another episode here today on The Connection Code.
My name is Giovanna Elias and i am a Human Connection and Communication Expert and today we’re going to talk about:
How To Stop Taking Things So Personally.
I’m going to share with you four tips the secret sauce to really make it happen so stay tuned and listen in to these four ways that we can
stop taking things so personally in our lives.
If you’ve been liking the videos I’ve been putting up every week, I ask that
you subscribe to the channel, click like, leave comments below for me, and ring the bell for more notifications on the weekly videos that I put up every Friday here on The Connection Code.
So without further ado, let’s dive into it what are these four tricks the secret sauce to stop taking things so personally in our lives.
So in what areas of our lives would we be susceptible to actually taking things personally?
Well maybe it was that guy or girl at the bar that took your friend’s number instead of taking yours, or maybe it’s your boss that gave your colleague a raise or a promotion instead of giving it to you, or possibly it was a friend that came into town to visit other friends, or a
partner instead of coming to see you … and so in all these situations, we may actually start to take things personally and think that they’re really about us when in actuality it may have absolutely nothing to do with us at all.
So let’s dive into the four ways that we can actually stop taking things
personally starting with number one: getting out of
that space of shame in your mind.
That we want to recognize that what happened does not make you any lesser, it just makes it a lesson.
I want to say that again: the situation does not make you and your value any lesser, it just makes it a lesson.
Therefore, you can learn from the circumstance and grow from it
and really hone in on what is your value rather than coming down on yourself and shaming yourself and going into a space of not being good enough.
It really actually helps us get that one step closer to releasing toxic dialogue within ourselves about not being enough, not doing enough, not having enough, and instead learning to communicate with ourselves from a place of acceptance and compassion and taking everything as a lesson to grow and evolve that much more… and rather seeing it as an opportunity to build communication skills to go approach your boss and ask him what is it that i could do differently next time to get that raise or promotion or reaching out to your friend and expressing simply how it is that you feel and that you actually care about them and that you would like to see them when they come into town to visit.
This in turn will sharpen your communication skills, help you build a greater sense of awareness, understanding and connection with the person before you and it will help you release those feelings of taking things so personally.
So the second thing to consider is that it’s not really about you…
So the second thing to consider is that it’s not really about you…
okay maybe a part of it is about you, but in actuality it’s not strictly about
You… it’s really about the dynamic that both you and this person experience together that oftentimes humans actually act as a mirror for each other and we really help, pardon my French, each
other bring up our own and when we bring these things up it
helps us become more clear on what we want, what we don’t want, what makes us feel safe, and what also makes us feel insecure.
So in the case of our boss for example giving that razor promotion to another co-worker that can actually allow us to get more clear on what it is that we want within the company, what position we would like to strive
towards, and it actually motivates us to communicate with our boss and ask what action steps can we take to obtain that position we desire.
In the case of our friend coming into town and visiting their partner as
opposed to visiting us this would help us gain that much more awareness as to why they took the actions that they did and perhaps recognize from their perspective that they simply wanted to have a week in a way of intimacy with a close loved one and that really it has nothing to do with us,
or in the case of possibly feeling rejected or let down by a guy or girl
this may be a very good opportunity for us to turn inwards and listen in to the inner sabotaging dialogue that’s going on within us and seeing where that really stems from and how we can heal those thoughts and beliefs
so you see in the end when things actually come up that present as
uncomfortable that present as rejection that make us feel that we are not good enough in actuality there are opportunities to learn,
to grow, to further connect and to heal things within ourselves.
So the third way we can actually learn to stop taking things so personally and this really actually piggybacks beautifully off of our last point
is to ask, never assume.
So when we ask the person what’s going on, what’s happening, what led you to take such action, why did that take place, what were your thoughts, how are you feeling, now we actually gain a greater sense of clarity of awareness, of understanding and we don’t assume and go down these
deep dark rabbit holes of negative assumptions, but rather we actually
understand the full entire picture in asking.
We really get to the root of what is going on…this in turn will help us grow
it’ll help us learn more it’ll help us move away from the frame of taking
things so personally and rather we’ll actually know what steps to take
forwards next time to get that promotion or what energy are we giving off and can we change to therefore attract that guy or girl we want in our lives.
So the fourth and final way to not take things so personally in our lives
and this is actually one of the most effective ways is to send the person love that love is actually one of the highest vibrational emotional states that we can be in and that when we are in the state we are actually vibrating at a much more effective emotional space
that we are leaning into compassion and understanding and awareness rather than sitting with feelings of animosity and contempt within us.
Believe it or not, when we actually send energetic feelings of love the thought and intention of love to someone else the opportunities the synchronicities, the connections, the doors that open up in our lives
are absolutely incredible and something that you would never even imagine to be possible.
So how do we release feelings of possible rejection or not feeling good
enough and stop taking things personally? We actually want to send the people in our lives, the people before us, we want to send them loving energy.
So there you go folks… those are the four things you can do to stop taking things so personally in your life.
What were they?
Number one: get out of that space of shame in your mind, remember you are not lesser, everything is simply a lesson.
Number two:
it’s not really about you
Number three: ask, never assume.
and
Number four: send the person loving energy so there you have it
If you like today’s video, I ask that you click like, subscribe, ring the bell for more notifications on the weekly videos thati put up, and leave comments below… giving me feedback and letting me know what you guys thought of today’s video!
I’m so happy to have you here with me on the connection code my name is Giovanna Elias, and I am a Human Connection Expert.
Until next time ;)